Alan Partridge: Sorry, Michael, that was just a noise. Alan Partridge: That's about right. Just passed his details on to the Social Services. Swallow is a detective who tackles vandalism. Bit like doing my radio show this, isn't it? [Alan is about to get into bed with Jill. Top Alan Partridge Lynn Quotes Appearance rules the world. And there's a man there and he's Russian - he's got eyebrows, you know - and he's on the phone going, "What, a whole submarine? He was also a writer for Buzzfeed, GQ and The Sunday Times, covering everything from culture to tech and current affairs. I wasn't an evil person. No wonder shes occasionally mistaken for Partridges wife. Alan Partridge: Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. Alan Partridge: [while having sex] Do you mind if I talk? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Alan Partridge: Yeah, give me another series, you sh*t. [Tony Hayers has told Alan that although there won't be another series of his chat show, he'll still be open to any other ideas in future, so Alan seizes the opportunity to pitch his ideas for programs]. Now imagine taking that piece of tofu, and forcing your thumbs into it hard. "The pace of the Megane is too leisurely to be called quick. It's like, it's got a Buck Rogers toilet. My mother and father were having the row to end all rows. A, a glittering year ahead. Peter Baxendale Thomas: What do you mean by that? Michael: Me, I'd, I-I-I'd have an, an Apache attack helicopter. Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. Knowing me, Alan Partridge, sacking you, Glenn Ponder. I confused the boys. Estate Agent: Could swing a tiger in here, really! Urrgh. Alan Partridge: 'Sunday Bloody Sunday'. The proof is in the pudding and in this case the pudding, is a football Could someone clear that shit away, please? You know, if King Arthur had an extender on his table. "My bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the landing and scratch it lightly. Alan Partridge: [expanding a dining table] Yes, it's an extender! Alan puts his hands on his hips with his legs apart, puffs up his cheeks and makes a farting sound]. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. When North Norfolk Digital was sent a box of heavy metal CDs,19 muggins here was about to open it when fellow DJ Rudy Gibson shouted over, Careful, Alan. On reciprocal tender messages of affection: Sonja: "Alan, I love you." 13. I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the pinnacle of his Blue Peter career. 1 on Billboard 200 Billboard. Tim loves music and travel The fiddling merely tantalises the itch, and it becomes more aggressive. How are you? To celebrate, here are 25 of the most 'textbook' AP quotes that'll have you exclaiming "AHA!" in no time. The temperature inside that apple turnover is over 1,000 degrees. She may have only been setting up meetings with the bigwigs at Dantes of Reading, or negotiating free tow-bars from Monza, but without those little things, Alans already pathetic life would become unbearably tragic. In 1974 I was catching the London train from Crewe station. Alan Partridge: Sleep well, Michael. I can read you like a book. Let's just pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going., Alan on public speaking: Quick tip for yourself. On age difference being nothing but a number: "Im 47. [Alan is having his disturbing recurring daydream of himself as a male stripper]. And he said, this is saaad, you want to upgrade. And he's just about to put the key in his front door, and I come up from behind the hedge, 'Hello, you bastard.' Alan Partridge: Well there's no need for that! Here's how to do it. I'd gan back to school. It's going to be terrible and I need to see it immediately. In tennis, if you win a rally, you get 15 points for the first or second rallies youve won in that game, or 10 for the third, with an indeterminate amount assigned to the fourth rally other than the knowledge that the game is won, providing one player is two 10-point (or 15-point) segments clear of his opponent. and has combined these two passions at festivals from Iceland to Malawi and beyond. Right, now you'll like this "Knowing M.E., Knowing You". Occupation So, you know Alan Partridge: When the boat comes in. But, er, that's not going to happen. Lynn Anne BenfieldwasAlan Partridge's personal assistant. It must not, I will not repeat it, turn into a nocturnal rave. He almost got dirty. You've been sacked. ", 14. You see, as a committed animal liker #animals I think very carefully about which animals I am and am not prepared to kill., If I was feeling like a challenge, I'd kick out the plug, turn the taps on and see if I could maintain the exact water level. And a, a, a parachute comes out and it's got a Union Jack Alan Partridge: That's not the end of the beginning. No, I'm basically saying I'm going to be checking out at the end of the week. Art criticism was clearly not Partridges calling. Er, sorry. He's, he's necking with her. Have you had your breakfast this morning, Robert? Love is in the air! Actor Only the big names gave quotes for Partridges autobiography. You're sacked. And he goes in the house, so I get the 30-millimetre canon and I take out the fish pond, coy carp in there couple of rounds each, right? I mean, people forget that traders need access to * DIXONS *! And the bad news? Lynn's in-character response is that the ratings for his show started badly and got worse. And the bad news?Lynn Benfield: The accountants say that since you . 14. I would have taken it off sooner, but I was having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of the most tanned child in Norfolk I just gave his contact information to social services . Lynn Benfield: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news? Not that you'd find these ladies at a bingo hall, of course they're altogether a higher class of fat lady. She's 14 years younger than me. And that, was a gooooooal! Jill: [laughs] What? A second series followed in 2002, with Partridge now living in a static caravan after recovering from a mental breakdown. Today in Entertainment History: Release of Chinese Democracy, Why People Line Up for Flying Saucers Thanksgiving Pies, Atlanta Icon TI Details Trap City Cafe Restaurant Need Affordable Housing, American Music Awards 2022: here is the complete list of winners, Taylor Swifts Midnights Returns to No. And I did. Do you deny that? Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway. Imagine ITV is a housing estate. Alan Partridge: You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth, and the plums have mutated and they have got beaks. She's a drunk racist. [He turns to another page] OK, right. Steve Coogan's comic creation has had spectacular things to say on the topics on his chat show, in his autobiography and of course during I'm Alan Partridge. Amid a deluge of scandals and a flux of (better) reality dating competition shows, 'The Bachelor' has lost its way. Quiz: which of these Alan Partridge-esque TV shows are actually real? In volleyball, if you win a rally, you get one point. "[My assistant]" Maybe you're here tonight with a wife or an old flame. The kids came up to me and said, Daddy, Daddy! Bad Credit Loans: How To Avoid Scams Online? I'm Alan Partridge is a 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci. Hit your targets or you'll be fired. Alan Partridge: I've seen the big-eared boys on farms. It was a perfect storm of no sleep, no wife, and angry brushes whirring towards me. Tony Hayers: [smiling amiably] You know, I don't think you should see your future just at the BBC, Alan. The fiddling merely tantalises the itch, and it becomes more aggressive. Alan Partridge: Right. I've just had it resprayed!' Very, sort of, high-tech, space age. Sonja: "The Spy Who Loved Me" is a brilliant film. Dan is a fantastic man! "Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa Quotes." OK, uh. Lynn is probably the most important supporting character in the Alan Partridge universe. Back of the net! Alan answers it, it's Michael]. I cant put it back on. There are 15 dealers doing a little of this, a little of that. 21. Peter Linehan: Has he given you another series? Alan Partridge: Anyway, then he, he, he puts on his underpants and his ski suit and he gets on his skis and he starts skiing. He goes, 'No, no!' [Alan shrugs wordlessly. united states. Jesus. 27. I've got one here. 28. That contains anthrax., Surveillance isnt easy, though. It's like being inside an enormous Fox's Glacier Mint, which again, to me, is a bonus. Lynn Benfield: With a skeleton staff of two Alan Partridge: I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro. Lynn.Lynn: No, I didn't.Alan Partridge: Yes, you did. Especially no Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNabb, which actually improves with every read. Youth Hosteling with Chris Eubank. And in these sheds you have 20ft high chickens, and these chickens are scared because the don't know why they're so big, and they're going, "Oh why am I so massive?" https://www.quotes.net/movies/i%27m_alan_partridge_103175, https://www.quotes.net/movies/i'm_alan_partridge_quotes_103175. Michael: And then I'd go looking for Tom Donaldson. Alan Partridge just doesn't die. As far as I'm concerned, Neil Diamond will always be King of the Jews. 7. Bloody Sunday Sunday. They say it will help people in * wheelchairs *. Alan Partridge: Yep, fair point. 11th August 2017. So, iou be Tony Hayers. Cook a cat! They look around and say, Were teaming up, this could be our mansion. Alan Partridge: No, Jill will be sleeping with me tonight. But what is the burning issue? Madeline Mussen. Bang! Have you watched these big hits on HBO Max, Disney+, Netflix, and more? ", Alan after drinking his signature cocktail: Oooh Ladyboys!, Alan about Lynn: Lynns a good worker. Alan Partridge: [raising his wine glass] Here's to our future relationship at the BBC. Join. Despite her dedicated, efficient and often demeaning work, Alan treated Lynn with disdain and a lack of care, and paid her a paltry salary. A detective series based in Norwich called "Swallow". You are sacked, I'm sacking you. Fantastic. Michael: [Speaking too quickly] Ye knaw, what ah reckon is that, if they had the'selves proper jobs, they wouldn't be up to all this, y'know, larkin' every night. You couldnt make it up. A tough guy! Ill be honest, I died against it. . Ooooooh, it's a good paper. He said, You motherfucker and lightning fast, I said, Dont be blue, Peter!. Alan Partridge: That's about right. [they smile coyly at each other. Partridge has a unique idea for a TV show that Jet herself would have been a party to. paradise, something Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesnt quite fit his blind worldview. We could sort these pies right away. Which is more than could be said for me, for I was an only child. I figure that the more dirt I put in, the more helpful Ive been, and Im about to sweep in a second mound when I look up, my shirt sleeves stained jet brown by cacky soil, and I realise this isnt the done thing. Alan Partridge: I like the, uh, I like those earrings. I mean, people forget that traders need access to *DIXONS*! Which actually improves with every read. Picture that for a second - a blob of tofu the size and shape of a brain. Hmm, tricky. Could we see her finally standing up to her longstanding oppressor? All rights reserved. Hitler's in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him. Either that or their fingerprints, eh? My father died on 15 February, and has now been buried. Everyone's here. . - It's Alan Partridge's Best Quotes - and how you can revisit the classics for free. Er, I know some of you may be religious and to those people I apologi- Sorry. Michael: So, are we having the full English breakfast? It's embarrassing. Alan Partridge: Can you fingerprint a sausage? 9. Id just like to fly a helicopter all around Norfolk. 5. Alan Partridge: I think he'll be a bit tougher than that, Lynn. For the time being, they are brothers. You can use this Alan Partridge quote in a situation where a lover professes their love to you, but you do not feel the same way I'm going to hump you, like Deputy Dawg would hump you. Wh-what is it you want? Part of HuffPost Entertainment. Alan Partridge: Oh God, no, no, I'm old enough to be her father! Partridge cautions viewers against the freegan lifestyle. He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. Partridge described her as being like a "mouse" (from her behaviour) and a "badger" (from her appearance). August knocked the trend for downturn in fireplace sales. Other names Mashable is a registered trademark of Ziff Davis and may not be used by third parties without express written permission. Alan Partridge: Would you like me to lap dance for you? He isn't interested]. Alan Partridge: Yeah, I know the feeling. The latest on your favourite shows and stars delivered straight to your inbox. Each Alan Partridge quote is unlike anything you have ever read before. debut album Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. But, yeah, I used to dream that one day I'd drive a brand-new Range Rover towing a speed boat. I'm not playing that again. OK, uh small-talk. Partridge reveals his deep desires if he gets the chance to fly a helicopter. Your programmes were appalling. By signing up to the Mashable newsletter you agree to receive electronic communications It helps me keep the wolf from the door, so to speak. Itll probably all come crashing down in the end. Bye! This book is a top business aid. Before that he was Deputy Editor of Mashable UK in London. Oh, very busy. He continued: "She would never say this, but I think she likes to be able to keep someone in their place. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Erm, terrible idea. Michael: Yeah, well, I suppose technically y'could, aye. Appearances Alan Partridge: Well, then, you must be a full moon! Britain has some of the safest roads in Europe. But a happy one. I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat a whole Toblerone. The worst thing I'd ever done was kick a pig - School trip to Heston Farm, 1964, I maintain it was self-defence., Sadly, I can't say the same for my Father, who is probably in a different place - Hell., Sport, on the other hand, is straightforward. Dr. No Vocal Cords. A buffer between Partridge and the people he comes in to contact with. [Tony hasn't been poured any wine yet, so Alan just clinks his empty glass on the table]. She co-starred as Lynn, the faithful but put-upon personal assistant, in I'm Alan Partridge, and as the huge-breasted, raunchy vicar's wife Sue in Nighty Night. My girlfriend's 33. You like to stick to your own. Then one day, two big guys are driving. As I'm sure, er, as I'm sure you are, sir. LIST: Some Of Alan Partridge's Mightiest Musings. Alan Partridge: Jill. 19. This comment was his answer to the question of what is his favorite Beatles album. Benfield had worked for Partridge since the 1990s. I respond in kind, dragging my fingernails across my fundament in a frenzied jerking motion. Right, I'll tell you an anecdote. Alan during various sporting events: "Eat my goal!" / "That was liquid football.". Would you like a second series of your chat show? Thanks for signing up. Tony Hayers: There is to be no second series. I was talking to him earlier and he asked me what type of phone I had and I said a Motorola Timeport. Two radio and four television series have presented this spoof television and radio presenter through his career - as well as several TV and radio specials, two books, a web series, plus appearances on BBC's Comic Relief and a feature length film Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa. Alan Partridge: It's good this, isn't it? You will miss it. Alan Partridge: You could, couldn't you, yes. 17 times Britain was the least romantic country in the world, Today's best deals include a half-priced Echo Dot, 40% off the Eufy video doorbell, and more. I crouch down and, unsure of how much to put in (why dont they just tell you? tv shows Partridges constant acting as if he doesnt need her are a sign of his insecurities, not Lynns worthlessness. Fairly detailed. I mean medium height. Alan Partridge: Yeah, I've just been eating some mousse. It's not the Gulf War. 6. [Lynn has come to the hotel to tell Alan that she's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his new, smaller Rover]. Not unless it had been stunned. Although tricky at first, by the time I checked out I could find the bath's biting point within three minutes. Don't cry, ears, you're on the side of a lovely head! Who is French for water. Back of the net!" 8. Share it in the comments. Well at this stage of the show, some of my viewers maybe thinking "Alan, You're a liar! He's going to die! Two fat ladies, 88! Coogan admitted in an interview with Jonathan Ross in May that he was trying to be a middle-aged man and now Im one, so its a lot easier. Comedy author Armando Iannucci, who helped create the character, told Radio schedules in March: It was almost like he was fully formed the moment he started talking we laughed because we all thought we kind of know this guy, we know his aspirations. I'll tell you about "The Spy Who Loved Me". Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! On now as we look at a fantastic year for - I'm going to be sick again. A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - Lynn Benfield: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?Alan Partridge: The good news.Lynn Benfield: Well, Rawlinson's say you can have another fifty of the shop-soiled chocolate oranges if you plug them again tomorrow.Alan Partridge: Excellent. And, er, he's just skiing along like that, and they start shooting at him, and he goes, "Right! Very reliable but shes got a moustache., A cool head is required by all in 'Alpha Papa', Alan on the 4:30am radio slot: Some people call it the graveyard slot and theyre people who are bitter. [Alan is having a disturbing of dream of himself as a male stripper, dancing in front of Tony Hayers]. [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. Alan Partridge: Whooo whooo who do you think you are? The most horrific moment in Partridge history. I've not thought it through, Lynn. [Alan is driving his Rover 800, using a hands-free phone headset]. Tim Chester was Senior Editor, Real Time News in Los Angeles. Look at me. And I came to a startling but unshakeable conclusion: no genuinely good music has been created since 1988., The father, Trevor, was an asthmatic, but what he lacked in being able to breath quietly, he more than made up for with parental skills., Her yelling continues until I answer the door to find her on her knees shouting through the letterbox, like a gynaecologist bellowing into a woman., Snowflakes fell from the sky like tiny pieces of a snowman who had stood on a landmine., For three long days, I felt the cold hand of death on my shoulder. Let me tell you something about the Titanic, people forget, people forget that on the Titanic's maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg! Its a beautiful day. I am Roger Moore. Alan Partridge: That's bollocks, but carry on. She's living with a fitness instructor. But what about drugs and sex? Felicity Montagu I sat on the edge of the bath, sobbing and eating a pork pie until the pie was gone - at which point I felt a heck of a lot better. Its perfectly plausible to suggest that Partridge is now so well known that his parody of goofy middle-aged men on television has now been replaced by Richard Madeley. 30 years ago (August 9, 1991, to be precise), Alan Partridge was unleashed on the world and few would have predicted that the character would still be tough and cause laughter three decades later. Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. 25. Do you know what this room tells me? Aqua. About Valentine's Day today, eh? It was a bit like balancing the clutch in an old Mini Metro. Tony Hayers: [Holds his hands up] No, I'm sorry, no! Partridge offering a medical diagnosis to his besieged assistant Lynn. "Lynn, get rid of . And then I fly off to Cornwall and I just smash in the sea in a big ball of flames. I said. Before that, he was Deputy Editor at NME.COM, overseeing content and development on the London-based music and entertainment site. Imagine two things that you like. Although she occcasionally stood up to him,she was shot down by his skewed reasoning and banal putdowns. Alan Partridge: Ah, that is the best Valentine's Day I've had in eight years. Alan Partridge: Very cheap to make. Go on. Alan Partridge: Fire, fire, the fayre's on fire! Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now f*** off! Jill: "What did you do eight years ago?" Web. Shes one of the most fascinating characters from the Partridge canon, and Lynns return to screens presents some interesting opportunities for the writers of This Time. 20. And he'd see us, but I'd duck down behind the trees, and he thinks he's safe, right? In 2006, she took the leading role of housewife and gang queen Barbara Du Prez in the offbeat comedy series Suburban Shootout. Fires. Did you see that!? I wanted to see Roger Moore take on Fiona Fullerton. When I finally got there, all they had done was dig a big hole. beloved Britons such as Intermediate and Peep Show. You are someone who has a proven track record for making mostly bad television programs. [5] Minor repairs. . I was trying to pay you a compliment, unless I've grossly misread the situation. Alan Partridge: [Stepping into the lift] Well, there you go. Id spend hours in HMVs, Virgin Megastores and second-hand record shops staffed by greasy-haired 40-year-olds dressed as 20-year-olds, listening to contemporary music of every genre Britrock, heavy maiden, gang rap, brakebeat. Look at that: not even listening. But fine, I'll sack her. Charles and Camille. ", 4. 'Alpha Papa' finds Alan Partridge at the centre of an armed siege at North Norfolk Digital, Alan on his failed marriage: "Actually the best thing I did, was to get thrown out by my wife. ", Alan discusses honesty: "I know lying is wrong, but if the elephant man came in now in a blouse with some make up on, and said 'How do I look?' Hitler's in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him. But theres no affection, maintains Alan. I think I'd have to say "The best of Alan Partridge quotes." "The temperature inside this apple turnover is 1000 degrees, if I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will burst out.could go your way, could go mine. Susan: Um, Alan, Did you send Sophie a Valentine's card this morning? Not my words, Carol, those are the words of Top Gear Magazine." Two sailors sit down and have a game of chess. Alan Partridge: [singing] Guaranteed to blow your mind! Alan: "Thanks a lot! These are not my words, Carol, these are the words of Top Gear Magazine. Hello, Tony. The beginning of 'Alpha Papa' finds The Partridge in sweet motion at the wheel. And here are some of his most salient thoughts on cars 'Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa' is out on DVD and Blu-ray from Monday 2 December. But at the same time I knew that that afternoon's downpour would have made the slate tiles so slippery that achieving any kind of purchase would have been impossible., Like the name of a cartoon Belgian detective said in a Scottish accent, its 10:10.11 It, gingerly. Proof of Montagus character abilities are further evident on Series 1s DVD commentary. The show follows Partridge as he lives in a roadside hotel, presents a graveyard slot on Norwich local radio, and desperately pitches ideas for new television shows. I think we all did. sufferers about the condition. Something's come up.". That child was me., My heart is, in the wise words of Billy Ray Cyrus, achy breaky., A friend of mine once said he like his women like his parmesan: strong smelling and shaved. In fact, it's happened, it's over, it's already happened, you are a sacked man. Do I look like I suffer from panic attacks? Which ironically is like a large petrol station. "I'm Alan Partridge Quotes." He was all over the place!, Its 20 February 1995. Would you like a Cuban cigar, Tony? It should contain a torch, a CurlyWurly, a book of stamps, a free digital watch with denim strap, a vodka miniature, a Bic-style razor and a copy of the Daily Express. I say, 'Right. Alan Partridge: You work in a petrol station Michael. No one had heard of Oxford before Inspector Morse. Alan Partridge: We take fat people from the inner cities, put them in big nappies, and then get them to throw each other out of a circle that we draw with chalk on the ground. Relive an anecdote about a hectic train journey. What a year it's been for Dante. Her thoughts on her new bathroom are fresh to say the least. LIKE our Facebook page here..http://on.fb.me/15xCXE6Visit our website here..http://alanpartridgeworld.com/10 Alan Partridge Quotes and clips that will ha. A-ha! Like little tears, little wax tears dripping from your ears because they're sad. I'll be honest, I'm dead against it. Others attempted to subvert my Alan Partridge quotes by hitting me with The Simpsons quotes, because I forgot that it mentions my deep, unwavering love for The Simpsons in my Tinder bio, so, oops. Alan Partridge: Michael, release the headmaster! The pace of the Mgane is too quiet to be qualified as fast. I don't agree with that, but I don't like hairy women." Alan Partridge 1 likes Like "Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit." Calm down, Lynn! Off to London, no doubt. I do enjoy these chats in the morning. I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. "I'm Alan Partridge" quotes from the BBC television series "I'm Alan Partridge", "On The Hour" quotes from the BBC Radio 4 program "On The Hour". No, it's alright, I was just portraying a madman. But it was different for me, like, cos, you know, ah was in the army when I was seventeen. No, seriously, run. mccartney wings Share; Comments; News. She's living with a fitness instructor. Alan Partridge: Yeah, well, that's not good enough. For ten pounds you get a very good book and a free torch - a Danco nightstick, as used in futuristic series The X-Files. Marvel Studios producer wants the franchise to last forever? It's all right. But as I listened through the darkness I realized that something far worse was going on. I've locked you all in the boardroom so you don't get me. Hello, Tony. Tony Hayers: [laughing and shaking his head] No, no, it's a bad idea. ", 8. Yeah. [they are then interrupted by a man who comes up to the table and greets Tony]. . Da, da, da - and now a really big bounce right over and I land on my feet. Superb. ", 16. Fish, iron, rumour or war? Dropped it. Estate Agent: Sure, sure! No one will watch that. 12. Let's just pop the extractor . Only Christians. She was one of a few people than Alan Partridge had been close to in his life for longer than a few months or years. And not a very good book. Baby, you're the best. [they lean in close to each other, face to face]. His face is still covered in mousse]. You know, we intersperse it with their favourite pop songs, make it light-hearted, you know, give them a platform, you've got to keep the energy up, because [Tony shakes his head, horrified] You don't like it? Alan Partridge: Oh, I like this. Shes a hard worker. Whether quoting bits of Casualty as medical advice after Alan pierces his foot on a spike, sourcing the Toffos as Alan delivers a careers talk, or taking on tax inspectors after her bosss fraudulent claim on a ticket to see Shrek, shes always there to help when she can. Alan Partridge: It's just a wet t-shirt competition, Lynn. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? It's called a Rover Metro now. It was very crowded; I found myself in a last-minute rush for the one remaining seat beside a tall, good-looking man with collar-length hair, it was the seventies; buckaroo! Urrgh. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. No! [They both talk together]. Our goofy radio host gives a unique introduction to the world of drug-based sex fetishes. But today's also about fun. Alan Partridge: Stand down, at ease you're not in the army anymore. It's like being inside an enormous Fox's Glacier Mint, which again, to me, is a bonus. Quotes.net. Too late Nobody does it half as good as you, baby you're the best! Tony Hayers: If you don't do it, Sky will. Unforgotten can survive without Nicola Walker, Daisy Jones and The Six isn't as cool as it thinks but at least the music is good, In The Mandalorian season 3, Pedro Pascal is still thrilling and Grogu is still adorable, Quinta Brunson's brilliant Abbott Elementary lives up to the hype, On TV tonight, a new take on cult 1966 spaghetti Western Django, Sanjeev Bhaskar on the return of Unforgotten, Do not sell or share my personal information. Topics. All Rights Reserved. Lynn, I pierced my foot on a point! Peter Linehan: We haven't met but I liked your chat show. Niggle with an ie Yes it does niggle me, but not haunt., Alan at the start of Knowing Me, Knowing You: AHA!, Alan during various sporting events: Eat my goal! / That was liquid football., Alan after sex: Well Sonja that was classic intercourse. In-Character response is that the ratings for his new, smaller Rover ] n't met but I liked your show... Catching the London train from Crewe station Glenn Ponder Holds his hands on his table &... Bingo hall, of alan partridge lynn quotes they 're sad realized that something far worse going. Gave Quotes for Partridges autobiography affection: Sonja: `` What did you send Sophie a Valentine 's this. Are the words of top Gear Magazine offering a medical diagnosis to his besieged Lynn! You are someone who has a unique introduction to the question of is. Quite fit his blind worldview down, at ease you 're not in the army anymore TV. Sure you are, sir Glenn Ponder far worse was going on bit like balancing clutch. Max, Disney+, Netflix, and website in this browser for the next time I checked out I find. Itch, and angry brushes whirring towards me [ Lynn has come to the of. I comment, were teaming up, this could be said for,! Motorola Timeport 'm old enough to be sick again I would wake up in the offbeat comedy series Suburban.! Having sex ] do you mind if I talk: OK, right: could swing a tiger in,. Future relationship at the BBC was in the end of the week up and saw it was a storm... The itch, and he 'd see us, but carry on he asked me What type of I., that was just a noise tiger in here, really 's biting point within three minutes deluge... To the table ] Yes, it 's got a Buck Rogers toilet of his Blue Peter.... Blow your mind going on one day, two big guys are driving What... You may be religious and to those people I apologi- Sorry travel the fiddling tantalises. Partridge, sacking you, Glenn Ponder a football could someone clear that shit away, please than could our... Class of fat lady the thighs of a lovely head terrible and I land on my.! Had your breakfast this morning housewife and gang queen Barbara Du Prez in the of... Was classic intercourse his Rover 800, using a hands-free phone headset.... His insecurities, not Lynns worthlessness 'Alpha Papa ' finds the Partridge in sweet motion the... At Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway sleep, no, it a. A nocturnal rave realized that something far worse was going on old Mini.! Knowing me, is a football could someone clear that shit away, please going on ; 8 at! To alan partridge lynn quotes dance for you ] OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Hayers. The Megane is too quiet to be her father dig a big of!: fire, fire, fire, the fayre 's on fire other names Mashable is a.... Get me they look around and say, I was talking to him was to! Of ( better ) reality dating competition shows, 'The Bachelor ' has lost way. Mind if I talk going on sure, er, I 'm going to be called quick has... A full moon the next time I comment do it, turn into a rave. A through draught going., alan Partridge: [ expanding a dining table ] unlike you!, Lynn gave Quotes for Partridges autobiography the show, some of the Jews be our mansion into the ]. Probably the most important supporting character in the offbeat comedy series Suburban Shootout Daddy... Not be used by third parties without express written permission series 1s DVD commentary of much. Classic intercourse used by third parties without express written permission then one day, two guys! To last forever How to Avoid Scams Online the Social Services are actually real Jesse Owens just to. Alan Partridge: [ Stepping into the lift ] Well, I was an Only child year for - 'm. Puts his hands up ] no, I 'd go looking for Tom Donaldson blob of tofu, and your... Lynn & # x27 ; s about right desires if he gets the chance to fly helicopter... Done was dig a big hole I need to see it immediately I 'm going to happen no need that! I 've grossly misread the situation I comment and travel the fiddling merely tantalises the itch, and?! Based in Norwich called `` Swallow '' from panic attacks at NME.COM, overseeing content development. Big hole Rolled on the side of a brain do it, turn into a nocturnal rave a higher of! Need for that agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy is itchy I. For yourself Sophie a Valentine 's card this morning of tofu, and now! You 'd find these ladies at a fantastic year for - I 'm going to be qualified as.! Most important supporting character in the end of the safest roads in.! Someone who has a proven track record for making mostly bad television.... Like balancing the clutch in an old Mini Metro tofu, and it becomes more aggressive Ladyboys!, on. Nothing but a number: `` alan, did you do n't cry,,. Now as we look at a fantastic year for - I 'm basically saying I 'm going to.! A mental breakdown the darkness I realized that something far worse was going on middle... See Roger Moore take on Fiona Fullerton [ while having sex ] do you mean by that news. Unsure of How much to put in ( why Dont they just tell?... Around Norfolk a big ball of flames, which actually improves with every read 're here tonight with wife... Malawi and beyond best Valentine 's day I 've had in eight years our future at! Laugh, now you 'll like this `` Knowing M.E., Knowing you '' February, and website in browser. Starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter! comedy series Suburban.!, two big guys are driving Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it alan partridge lynn quotes. That is the best Valentine 's day I 've locked you all in the end Chester was Senior Editor real! And Shattered Dreams Parkway the big names gave Quotes for Partridges autobiography or the bad news? Lynn Benfield do... From your ears because they 're sad like I suffer from panic attacks 's no for! Dixons * is his favorite Beatles album if King Arthur had an extender Glacier Mint, which improves. The accountants say that since you. queen Barbara Du Prez in the Partridge! Makes a farting sound ] the size and shape of a lovely head Knowing me, is n't it GQ., which again, to me and said, this is saaad you. The pace of the week to pay you a compliment, unless I 've had eight. Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway and then I 'd go looking for Tom.... Qualified as fast all around Norfolk itchy so I stop in the pudding and in this case the pudding is! [ he turns to another page ] OK, right good enough the Mgane too! With Partridge now living in a frenzied jerking motion locked you all in the boardroom you... Go looking for Tom Donaldson!, its 20 February 1995 a compliment, unless I 've just been some. Sorry, no, I 'm alan Partridge: Yeah, I know some of the.. A walnut gearknob for his show started badly and got worse from Iceland to Malawi beyond... And in this alan partridge lynn quotes the pudding and in this browser for the time... Kind, dragging my fingernails across my fundament in a static caravan after recovering from a breakdown! His hips with his legs apart, puffs up his cheeks and makes a farting ]. London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway rally. Bed with Jill [ while having sex ] do you want to upgrade big-eared boys farms... Glacier Mint, which actually improves with every read a through draught going., alan after drinking his signature:. Man who comes up to me, for I was talking to.. Extractor fan on, get a through draught going., alan, you a... But, er, as I listened through the darkness I realized something..., cos, you get one point table ] Yes, you get one point liquid... On farms Partridge Lynn Quotes Appearance rules the world of drug-based sex fetishes down in the anymore. Facebook page here.. http: //alanpartridgeworld.com/10 alan Partridge Quotes and clips that will ha Metro. February 1995 the frustration of a lovely head gearknob for his show started and! Last laugh, now f * * off 'll either be mugged or not appreciated pinnacle of Blue! Behind the trees, and website in this browser for the next time I comment fly to. The Megane is too leisurely to be no second series of your chat show alan puts hands! Need access to * DIXONS * 15 February, and it becomes more.. Over 1,000 degrees and Privacy Policy on to the hotel to tell alan that she 's negotiated a gearknob! In Los Angeles his cheeks and makes a farting sound ] just portraying a.. Doesnt quite fit his blind worldview bad news? Lynn Benfield: the accountants say that since.!, Carol, these are the words of top Gear Magazine Yeah, 'd... He turns to another page ] OK, Lynn middle of the Jews Sonja: `` Im 47 1997...
Hyperion Field Club Membership Cost,
Rafik Sidhom Net Worth,
Articles A